Red Lion, Right River
“My heart’s been far from you, ten thousand miles gone.” — Leon Bridges’ ‘River’
For my friend, who fell in love and told me everything so I would fall too. May my words do your heartbreak justice.
I remember thinking it would start with that nighttime ride
I know now that five minutes under the stars means nothing after a lifetime under the sun.
We sat far apart on the bus that night, laughing at you as you laughed at me as I laughed at nothing as we drove down Main Street
Streaks of yellow lamplight from outside dripped butter soft on our shoulders
forty-five minutes spent under a tired moon that you covered with a thick thumb so you could see my face
My friends knew I would miss you already.
Bright lights went up on the bus and you were back home.
We exchanged hugs and knowing “see you next summers”
Our summers were endless and everyone on that bus knew our ‘next summer’ meant tomorrow.
I can’t say I miss somebody I’ve barely even met
But I miss taking moments for granted with you.
That yellow lamplight is worn thin on concrete without you
I miss you before you pushed my love back into my hands,
I miss you when we were us, I miss missing you when we were nothing
I miss running through the woods with you, dirt under our nails as the world fell off its axis.
Three years later and we’re on the bus again
You move my sweater and sit next to me
The lights go down and I grit my teeth
Crush hot words between molars
I want to love you so bad I’m willing to hate myself to do it.
I look out the window and I can feel you staring at me
I close my eyes and I’m outside under that tired moon
Free and alone, my heart is mine as I watch you ride those miles alone back home.
Alice Blackwood is a junior from NYC.